Developments.

The most important news first: After all the years (it has actually been 10 years since I was first in Calgary...) that I have known and appreciated the CMSS staff, I was asked last November if I could imagine being affiliated with the university/institute. A colleague asked me to contribute my expertise to her new research project and when I told her that I would have to be paid for it, the idea came up that I could possibly apply for financial support from the university. But that would only work if I was somehow connected. She then spoke to another colleague who had known me and my work for years. In their joint emails, they came to the conclusion that my expertise would be an advantage for the project and further collaborations. I was very pleased to receive this support. These were the developments that I had already touched on in the November blog, but which were far from being ready to go! As I was not able to make my trip to Calgary in January or March, further developments have dragged on until now. I signed the papers in March and am now officially an Associate Fellow of the CMSS.https://arts.ucalgary.ca/centre-military-security-strategic-studies/research/our-fellows

Although my colleague initiated the whole thing in November, I have now learned that she is withdrawing from the topics of the Holocaust, Israel, and German history. The planned project will probably not go beyond a few emails. It is not the first time I have experienced this. Almost all of my colleagues have withdrawn from the topic over the years. Their explanations were always the same: Too little, especially financial, support. Too much personal commitment, too difficult, hardly any recognition (especially in Germany), lots of empty words and promises, which, especially for German scientists, always end up with the Germans telling you to go to the Jews if you need money! - Well, what else can you say? Nobody, really nobody is waiting for another academic to deal with the subject.

And in this context, the question of why I am still here comes up again and again. And how I do it - enduring the disappointments and rejections again and again after being promised the blue sky. Although the financing of new projects is always a process of door-to-door cleaning, convincing and waiting, although there is so much resistance, although you cannot rely on anything or anyone.

I do not have a clear answer to that. On the one hand, of course I do not want to give up. I am an expert in my field, why shouldn't I work in my field? On the other hand, I do not want to let those who make it so difficult for me "win". Also, despite all the adversity, I really enjoy what I do. And what is more, I simply can't not do it.

I am part of the story, like all of us.

But just because we are no longer involved does not mean that further work on the topic is over! I am full of ideas for new projects.

Apart from the usual IT problems caused by an incorrect name entry by whoever, meeting my colleagues was like meeting old acquaintances. The IT problems were partly solved, but I had to email back and forth for more than three weeks with CMSS, the IT department and the office responsible for creating the UNICard. The breakthrough came when the IT department told me that they also had an office and that I could just drop by! Wow! It's not as if I had already asked everyone involved several times... well then.

I now have a working email address and an account in my name! Yay. Only the application for the UNICard is still not completed (the photo cannot be uploaded... without explanation as to why the system does not like it). So I do not have a Bib ID yet and I could not apply for business cards either - but hey, maybe I will just fly another 7000 km to solve these problems...and they say that Germany is behind in digitization.

Ok, but now to the important events: In addition to many meetings with new and old colleagues, I gave my presentation on Wednesday.

I was assured by various people that it was very well attended. It does not seem to be so easy to get colleagues and students to come to the university during the spring semester.

I was able to continue the conversation with a physicist colleague who had come specially and whom I did not know at all. The story of his family is really remarkable and I am glad and grateful that he told me about it.

Thursday was the 80th anniversary of the end of the Second World War and I had the honor of attending the commemorative event at the Military Museum in Calgary together with some colleagues from the CMSS. The presentation and speeches were successful and appropriate for the occasion. What really touched me, however, were the essays written by three pupils. The young people managed to capture the mood of that day 80 years ago through historical accuracy and good writing skills. The audience was really touched by their texts.

https://themilitarymuseums.ca/visit/events-and-exhibits

In addition to these wonderful professional experiences, I enjoyed the city - the weather was almost summer-like at times. However, the wind was annoying and made so much noise that the howling in my hotel room kept me awake. Nevertheless, I was able to meet old friends and get to know new people. In the short time available, it was not possible to meet everyone I would have liked to, but who knows - maybe I will be back sooner than I thought.

As always after a trip like this, this week was packed. In addition to the everyday madness, I had to deal with all the email requests and continue to struggle with the IT at the University of Calgary. Add to that a demolished suitcase (thanks Lufthansa, always a pleasure!) and the emails associated with it.

Despite all the good news, I do have one piece of really sad news: after three years of very good cooperation, one of my clients has stopped working on all subjects with the exception of German, English, and Math with immediate effect. This not only means that I cannot finish my work on the history content on the website and unfortunately not all of my written video scripts will see the light of day as finished videos, no, it also means financial losses (which I can fortunately make up for with other projects, which is already foreseeable) and the loss of contact with my colleague. I think that is a real shame, especially at a time when everyone is calling for political and historical education and now history of all things is being scrapped...it is really sad. And I will really miss the exchange with my authors and other colleagues!